When do we learn to share? Or we don't.

"Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened."

I was at Pavilion, KL last night and i witnessed an incident which i am now inclined to highlight. It is a thought which i have long had but never wanted to write until what unfolded before my very eyes urged me to blog about it. The question is 'When do we learn to share?'. Or we don't.

I believe in life when we first open our eyes and enter this world, we start to share. We may not realize then but we share the air we breathe, the love amongst our family and the space in their home to accommodate us. Some of us share bed with our parents or our siblings, or share bedrooms. Then we share toilet, computer, television, calculators, food and may be even clothes. While we usually thought of something concrete to share like objects, we sometimes share laughter, joy and happiness and sometimes we share pain and sorrow of others. We may even share secret.

So when do we learn to share? When we are babies? And who taught us to share?

It is not easy to learn to share. I remember when i was a kid, some toys are exclusively mine. No one other than me is allowed to play them. But i was not a single child and i had to share. One of the ways we do is to take turns. I would first play as my brothers or sister watch me, and i would respect them likewise when my turn is over. Another way is to play together. Thankfully some games come in multiplayer mode.

In a crowd last night, i noticed a Middle Eastern girl watching a Chinese kid playing with his balloon. She was tempted to have one. She looked to him then to her parents who did not acknowledge her desire to have one. Kids do what kids do, and she approached the Chinese boy. The boy, surprised to see a girl coming towards him and tried to touch the balloon in his hand, he lifted it up high. The girl stood, watching him. Ignoring her presence, he played with the balloon by throwing it up in the air and letting it slowly descend to the ground, where he would then catch it. The girl followed him and tried to catch the balloon too. The boy caught it and hid it behind him so the girl could not touch it. She was adamant to have the balloon and the boy ran to his mother.

There were two more balloons with the boy's mother and seeing her wanting the balloon, the mother offered one to the girl. The girl happily accepted the balloon and returned to her mother and then both the kids played the balloon.

Perhaps, we learn to share from our parents. In this situation, why didn't the boy share the balloon with her, knowing he has two more with his mother? Probably, he might not yet know of the concept of sharing, or may be she was stranger to him. Either way, his mother showed him through her actions.

The concept of sharing, in my opinion, involves a great deal of give-and-take, tolerance and cooperation. The boy could throw tantrums seeing his mother giving the balloon away, but he didn't. Likewise with me and my siblings.

Learning how to share does not happen overnight.

In the crowd too, everyone was watching a band playing and a tourist danced in rhythm to the music in front of the crowd. It took sportsmanship, showmanship and even courage to do so, and i could not help to wonder if a Malaysian would do what he did. As i have said, we don't only share objects or things, but sometimes something more abstract. It might be in his culture to be daring enough to dance in front of the crowd alone. So it occurred to me then, that we can share culture too, if we want to.

I have learned that cultures are shared. We should realize that sharing can be transmitted by observing, listening, talking and interacting with other people. And when we are born, we share the cultures of our people too, and meeting others, we may share their positive traits that may eventually enrich our lives.

So again, when do we learn to share then and when do we share?

I believe the answer vary from people to people, but i can say that mostly it begins from birth. Parents of today were children of yesterday, and because of that, they share with us what they know about the world we live in and we continue to keep to that tradition, sharing then what we know later to our children.

What say you?